Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Canadian Healthcare Admission.

If you're one of the few that's lucky enough to be reading this before the Canadian government scrubs it off the internets, please pass it on. The truth must get out.

Watching Republican leaders on television and listening to people like Limbaugh and Hannity on the radio, it is clear that the healthcare secrets hidden north of the 49th are starting to be unmasked. However, the evils that these brave truthsayers are talking about are only the tip of the Canadian healthcare iceberg.

In our Canadian single-payer system, if we'd like to talk to a doctor of our choice about living wills, life-support issues, or medical decisions that may need to be planned ahead for, the cost of the consultation is covered (I believe this is called a "death panel" in the U.S.). I know! Sickening, isn't it?

As part of these consultation, many doctors may provide literature designed to inform people of the various options and assist patients in considering scenarios that they may not have or may have been reluctant to think about. These "death books" are everywhere in Canada!

Not only that, but we have lawyers up here ("death merchants") who will even recommend to their clients that they engage in some kind of planning for potential medical emergencies and who will help those interested in drafting what we call "living wills" ("death forms").

Since Canadian hospitals and legislators generally allow next-of-kin to make decisions in tragic life-support situations without the same kind of circus that surrounded the Schiavo incident, it might be more accurate to describe our hospitals as "death camps". We have entire wards ("death units") devoted to palliative care, where the employees ("death staff") often read correspondence from family ("death letters") to the patients ("the living dead"). We not only have administrators who run these facilities ("death directors"), but also legislators ("deathocrats") that passively allow this next-of-kin genocide .

In addition, next of kin rights are often conferred as a result of marriage (the "death contract"). Sometimes these next of kin decisions even fall to children ("death spawn") or parents ("death ancestors").

So please: Republicans, Teabaggers, etc... Before you allow the US to become a communist "death nation" like Canada , listen to Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity and save yourselves from the horrors that will inevitably result from the government paying for medical planning consultations for the elderly before it is too late!


Jennifer Smith said...

Brilliant! You need to post this as a comment over at FoxNews.

Audrey II said...

Thanks, Jennifer. Although, I'm not sure if the readers at FOX News have a good enough grasp on reality to understand that it's satire, but it might be fun to watch the responses!

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!!!!We're all gonna die!!!!I'm leavin' this death country for good before it's too late!

(PS Brilliant Audrey!)

Saskboy said...

Here's an American fighting the stupidity, using something I provided him. Even when Canadian health care doesn't work well, I still don't get a bill.

Dame Janus said...

Fox News fans can read??? :lol:

So we're all "living" in Canadeath. Being born only to finally die. Wonder what people in other countries do when they're finished living?

This is wonderful, Audrey II! Thank you. Linking.

ELIA said...

Don't show Sarah Palin!! She'll run with this...I think she can read!

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